Gay's in the Military ?????

     I was going to write a ferocious verbal onslaught about why we need to focus less on sexual preference and more on results and how we all need to quit judging people on things like sexual preference, color,gender or age but it ooccurred to me that instead of reading this post you are all probably logging into your Face Book accounts to write your own redneck version of why this is wrong and that obviously all Gay's should either repent or form a boy band. (note: For some unknown reason it is fine to be gay and be in a band but that's the only way it's okay).
       So instead of talking about Gay's in the military I thought it would be interesting to see what other groups of people we could ban from serving their country with honor.
        Lets start with banning all women,gay, straight or catholic,it doesn't matter they are all out ,because they are not physically as strong as men (straight men) and don't have the strong emotional control needed to shoot at people. Now that the girls are gone and we can really talk lets get to the next group that has no business being in the military.
      We really need to get the Christians out of the military, they are just not very good at this whole war thing, I mean really "Turn the other cheek" how does that fit with destroying an entire village. Every time an order comes to the front they are always asking " What would Jesus Do" well I am not sure about you but I don't think this Jesus dude was into this whole was thing. On the other hand we could turn all of the Christians in the military into a Jihadist band of bad asses by saying we are doing all of this in "Gods" name, but that will have to be an entire separate post. I guess I forgot about the gay Christians , they need to be banned also as part of the "Don't Ask(for forgiveness) Don't Tell" policy. Now that we are rid of the Christians lets move on to the next group that needs to be banned,
      The Jew's, they are the chosen people and have no real business fighting anything but a Holy War, so they can just sit on the sidelines until God gives them the nod. With the Jew's out of the picture lets move right along to the next group.
      The Mormon's, you just can not send a man with fourteen kids and three wives into a war,its just not right. If we had an all bicycle division and enough room to house the extra wives and children it would probably work out OK,but with the current budget problems it just won't pencil out. With the Mormons banned we need to move onto my favorite group of people that need to be banned from the military.
       You guessed it , Face Book users who were born after 1980,you are all to busy posting to Face Book to be of any real value especially in the military. As you all sit there posting utter nonsense to your page and requesting me to "Friend" you for the tenth time today, while downing a Costco sized bag of Doritos ( note: a normal person does not buy or want to buy a Costco sized bag of Doritos) and hammering down a 12 pack of Busch Light (because you like to watch your carb intake) you can all breath a sigh of relief, you don't have to be banned! What you ask, why not us? Well it boils down to these simple truths,you won't pass the physical or mental testing and the government doesn't trust anyone over 30 who has a Face Book account.
   As you can see it becomes a slippery slope when you try to isolate any group of people from anything, for any reason. So tomorrow before you go to work and you log into Face Book to to see how many "Friends" you have(trust me no one gives a shit) think about finding one of the sites were you can write a quick letter of support to Anyone who is serving our country in the military.

Editors Note: We are not positive but we have evidence to support that Face Book accounts are how they are determining sexual preference in the military.